All a Matter of Time
by KyosBeads13
Summary: “This will never get easier, will it Hughes?” Roy slurred as if the man was sitting right next to him. Roy needs to get away from Cental for the anniversary of his best friend's death. MustangXHughes angst.


**All a Matter of Time**

Opening heavy eyes, Mustang awoke face down against his unfamiliar inn bed tired and stiff. Rain pitter-pattered against the walls and windows lightly, adding to the somber feeling that could be felt all throughout the room. The wind whistled and moaned outside pushing deep and heavy clouds over the sun, blocking any hope for sunlight for that day. Sitting up and sharply inhaling, the young man ran a hand through his hair, following down along his jaw line where stubble was beginning to make itself known. He let out the breath and also allowed his hand to fall back to the blanket that was too puffy and plopped down onto his back.

Taking a vacation was one thing, but for it to rain on the one day he needed to get out of his room was another. The window on the other side of the room permitted the loud roar of the ocean just outside of the building to be heard by all; Roy slung his legs over the side of the bed, pulling himself up and over to the window. Slamming the glass back down to the window sill, he looked out at the rain that was pushed sideways and shook his head.

"Damn it, why today?" He grumbled slightly while walking back to sit on the edge of the bed. The only reason he wanted to get away from the pressures at Central was because of today; he didn't want to be there with all those memories and sorrowful glances from everyone. He hated those looks.

Sighing, he got up and moved to the closet where his shirt had been hung for the day along with his pants and slid out of his simple nightwear of an undershirt and boxers. Putting the crisp clothes on, Roy moved to the bathroom where he ran water through his messy hair with his fingers before fixing the collar on his shirt and moving towards his night stand. His pocket watch sat on it next to the room key and picked up the cold metal object in his hand, flicking it open and reading the time. He had managed to sleep until it was two in the afternoon which meant the bar down the street would be open. Pocketing his State Alchemist's watch, he grabbed the key and walked out of his room into the unforgiving weather outside.

The sky still poured relentlessly as the Colonel stumbled back to his room hours later. The sky was turning from grey to black as the day ended, Mustang having spent most of his time sitting at the bar, ordering drink after drink until he had lost count of how many he had had. Leaning against the door of his room, Roy nearly lost his footing as it opened and managed to pull himself in closing the door behind him. He tripped back over to the night stand, pulling the string for the light to come on and put his key back. Nearly falling onto the bed, he shivered from the wetness of his clothes before trying his best to change back into his pajamas from the night before. He threw his wet clothes into his suitcase that was fully packed and ready to go in the morning when he promised to return to Central. Realizing just what he had thrown the clothes on, he panicked and dove back into the case, pulling out a now moist picture from underneath.

The ink of it began to run causing Mustang to curse and place it under the light on the table to dry. He relaxed only once it had stopped running from the picture and pooled back into its respectable places clumsily. That picture was the one that he always seemed to have with him. It usually sat on his desk, but it seemed appropriate to bring on this trip. A tall man with slicked back hair smiled dumbly next to a shorter man who looked much more serious with his military hat tucked securely under his arm. He could have closed his eyes and drawn the picture from memory, he knew the image so well. It was the one piece of his life with his best friend that remained since he had been taken away nearly two years before to the day. After the first year anniversary of Maes Hughes' death, Mustang swore to himself that he would never be in Central for it ever again. However, it was still nearly impossible to not think about the man and his missed presence even with the lack of familiar surroundings in which they had shared so much time together. Feeling a painful lump in his throat, Roy fell backwards onto the newly made sheets holding the now dry picture in direct view of his eyes.

"This will never get easier, will it Hughes?" Roy slurred as if the man was sitting right next to him. "Two years and it still feels like I have that phone in my hand with you not answering." He dropped the picture next to him and rolled on his side, supporting his heavy head with his hand. He was so happy that he didn't have to go to the cemetery today. So happy that he didn't have to see Gracia and Elicia standing over their husband and father's grave.

"You know Hughes, Gracia really misses her time with you." Roy mumbled out to the picture. Seeming to think about his words, his teeth came together in something like a gritting motion. 'But at least she has something to miss.' He thought selfishly through the drunken haze that clouded his mind. "I never got to spend time with you after. As soon as we got home from Ishbal it all went back to normal. It went back to you and I being so busy with work we couldn't spend as much time with each other. I missed you then."

It was beginning to annoy the drunken Colonel that the only response the man in the picture had was a goofy smile and sat back up, getting angrier. "All you cared about was your girl friend that you always bragged about like an idiot while we were away from home. You just shoved everything that we had been through to the side to care for her. Did you forget about all those nights that you held me in your tent while we both slept out of fear we wouldn't see the next day?!" He yelled at the picture while shaking it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that he was beginning to hit rock bottom after two years of holding it all in. "You were really blinded by that woman. So blind that you didn't even care to see anything that I said to you or hints I dropped." Tears welled in his eyes as his emotions continued to pour out. "I loved you!" Hearing those words uttered in his own voice and how it felt to say each word, he felt as if he wanted to say it again. "I loved you!"

Suddenly, feeling the alcohol soaked contents of his stomach shift, Mustang darted for the bathroo, hardly able to make it to the toilet before collapsing to his knees and throwing up everything he had eaten and drank. His head hung still over the bowl as he panted and shook and retched a few more times before his shaky hand reached up to flush the nauseating contents of the toilet. A cold sweat ran off his forehead and mixed with the quickening tears as he weakly pulled himself up to look in the mirror. He realized that his picture was still clutched in his hand and felt a sob wrack his body. "God damn it, I love you Maes, why wouldn't you just see that?" He asked through the stinging of his throat. Pushing his weak body back to the bed, he fell silently to his pillow where he cried and cried until the tears could be felt across the whole pillow. That had been the first time that he really had admitted it even to himself. He doubted that the feelings he felt for his best friend were anything but love… But there was no way that he would ever dare to say that out loud. For God's sake, the man had a wife and child and not only that but they were both men of the military! But…

Roy Mustang could no longer deny that he had fallen in love with another man, a man who he considered to be his best friend, and the realization was almost more than he could take. A soft moan came from his mouth as he sat back up and held his head in embarrassment. 'How could I have been so stupid?' He thought to himself before feeling a new batch of tears spring forth. His gaze switched back to the image in his hand, now comforted by the same smile that had made him angry mere moments before. He smiled a bit before putting the picture back on the night stand and turning off the lights, casting a very peaceful look over the room. Night time shadows plagued the room as the rain seemed to lighten to a dull tap against the building. Roy kicked his legs under the covers while still letting his tears roll. Grabbing a new pillow to lay his tired head on, he inhaled slowly.

"Gracia's a lucky woman." Roy rubbed his eyes before turning away from the night stand; Hughes' guardian smile watching over his friend for the night like he had done so many times before.

XxXxXxX

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters from Fullmetal Alchemist.

_--KB ((Kyosbeads13))_


End file.
